Being a parent is a remarkable journey filled with love, challenges, and growth. As parents, it’s only natural to feel a sense of responsibility and a belief that we know what’s best for our children. It’s not about claiming exceptionalism but stems from the wealth of experiences we’ve accumulated throughout our lives. From childhood to teenage years, and into adulthood, we’ve walked diverse paths, faced various challenges, and discovered valuable lessons – insights we hope to share with our children.
Our instinct as parents is to guide our children through life, acting as protectors against pain and grief. It’s like crafting a comprehensive workplace safety manual, fervently hoping that our children will follow it, ensuring a secure and untroubled journey. Yet, in our eagerness to shield them from life’s potential pitfalls, we may overlook a crucial reality – that, like us, our own parents were not infallible experts on the specific experiences we would ultimately encounter. The wisdom they shared served as a general guide rather than a detailed roadmap for our individual life journeys.
Equipping our children with tools to navigate life’s common hazards is akin to handing them a map and cautionary guidelines. However, the inherent unpredictability of their journey remains, much like a forest evolving over time. The canopy may grow denser, altering the play of sunlight, and the trail may take unexpected turns. Recognizing that our children possess unique perspectives and sensibilities, shaped by various influences such as media, friends, and technology, enriches our understanding of their complex identities.
Identity, a dynamic concept, is not confined to the home. Our children’s sense of self varies in different environments – school, playgrounds, extra-curricular activities – influenced by interactions with teachers, peers, and the broader community. Their identities shift dynamically based on the places they inhabit and the individuals they interact with. The feedback loop they become part of plays a crucial role in shaping their daily development.
The intricate interplay of varied influences contributes to the evolving identity of our children. From books and games to friendships and passions, each facet shapes their multifaceted nature. Neurodivergence, moods, and diverse environments further enrich the complexity of who they are. Embracing the evolving nature of their self-concept allows us to appreciate the nuanced ways in which they respond to the diverse stimuli in their lives.
In our roles as parents, it’s essential to recognize that we are not examiners or referees to our children. Rather, we share a common boat with teachers, coaches, and counsellors. Collaboration among these guiding figures is vital, requiring coordinated efforts to navigate challenges without causing disruption.
The reciprocal nature of learning is evident in the parent-child relationship. While parents have experiences to share, children bring unique perspectives that hold equal importance. Each interaction adds to everyone’s growth, even if responsibilities change over time. To effectively support our children, honest self-assessment in relation to them is crucial. Recognizing the differences in our lives and being open to learning alongside them fosters a more profound connection.
What This Means at Transform Together
Contrary to the misconception that parents must be experts in everything, children often appreciate the opportunity to learn together with us. It’s like giving a second chance to our inner children, a shared journey of exploration and understanding. Children don’t expect parents to have all the answers; they want parents to learn alongside them, providing a space for mutual growth.
As parents, our journey is not about knowing everything or being infallible experts. It’s about creating a supportive environment where learning is a shared endeavour. The richness of this collaborative experience lies in the acknowledgment that growth is a lifelong journey, and every member of the family contributes to its tapestry. Parenthood, then, becomes a dynamic voyage of mutual discovery, learning, and growth.